A Simple Prayer

Let my hands create that which you breathed into reality
Let my very being be poured forth as yours was bringing beauty into the creation.

Presence

God, my Daddy,
I feel your presence now.
I love you.
Let your likeness be poured forth.
Let your face shine upon me
As it did with Moses
And let me simply declare You.

Ca-chow

Ca-chow!
Your words rip into my flesh like bullets.
Searing my ears.
Working their way to my heart.
You think me insane for wanting you.
You think yourself a fool
for not already writing me out of your life.
Yet, you are blind to the love and peace
I usher to your cynical soul.
You deny their power
and press for logic and intellectualism.
Why don't you accept this twisted gift I offer you?
Myself.
It is not the present you wanted
and so you throw it into the fire
leaving me singed from the fire of judgment.
Your fire only rebirths the phoenix that I am
molting sadness into hope again.

Pained

Is this emotion seared upon my face?
Can I wipe it from my shoulder?
It feels as though it is crawling through my blood
staining every crevice it hits,
poisoning my whole body.
My eyes fill with tears again
and I cringe at the thought of once again
crying until my entire face hurts
from the sorrows that pour forth.

Silhouette

Silhouette, the train passes me by
and you pass in ripples across its silvery exterior.
I watch depressed in this moment
thinking my dreams will only remain a silhouette
of whom I'm called to be,
who yearns to live as in this moment,
who eludes me as my shadow does
existing yet not living.

Friend Brother Lover

I'm so confused
Do I call you friend or brother?
You know I want to call you my lover
It's no random chance you came into my life
You were placed there to sharpen me
like iron sharpens iron
You push and bend and stretch
my mind bringing diversity of thought
and emanate light on new perspectives of the world
Your presence calms me
like the breath in your chest that I feel
when I rest on your shoulder and side
How can I adequately put into words
how thankful I am for you?
I feel I cannot but please accept my thanks anyways

Whittled Away

Once I was a little block of wood
stubborn, void of form
And then my Creator
began to whittle away
The stings of his blade hurt
smaller and smaller I became
Whittled away
until there was very little
Remaining

Now I am His beautiful prize
no longer stubborn or void
But skillfully crafted
into a prize for all eternity
His beloved creation

Exodus

Beloved, beautiful Semite
Once free, then enslaved
Your cries for mercy and provision
Pierced the heart of Jehovah
Then came protection and presence
Divine pillar of fire and cloud leading
Unto the Land of Milk and Honey
And a new, eternal destiny

I want to be a tree

I want to be a tree
planted beside the still waters
where my roots go deep
where I grow mightily
where I love well and am loved well

This is my heart's desire ...
and yet 19 months later
this dream, this desire
is still not reality
and leaves me feeling sad

Untitled

Dead bones living or trying to anyways
Feeling all skin stripped away
Flesh torn, spirit wilting, raw and bleeding
Dejected. Despairing. Tormented. Isolated.
Why do you stay so silent?
Why is your Kingdom so slowly brought?
Why do connections have to be so slowly birthed?
Will you give me community, deep and healing, as I need it?
Why have you pierced me with your double-edged sword?
Freely I give you my heart and love
Do not wound your beloved bride any longer.
Let us go to the groom's chambers and be intimate.

All I have are questions without answers

How naked do you want me?
Am I not already fully exposed?
Have I not cast off all my garments before you?
Do you not already know my secrets intimately?

My lips have kissed you.
My love for you has been declared.
We have been one flesh ...
and yet I feel only your spite and contempt.

Untitled

Dead bones living or trying to anyways
Feeling all skin stripped away
Flesh torn, spirit wilting, raw and bleeding
Dejected. Despairing. Tormented. Isolated.
Why do you stay so silent?
Why is your Kingdom so slowly brought?
Why do connections have to be so slowly birthed?
Will you give me community, deep and healing, as I need it?
Why have you pierced me with your double-edged sword?
Freely I give you my heart and love
Do not wound your beloved bride any longer.
Let us go to the groom's chambers and be intimate.

Transcendent

Transcendent
This love is transcendent
Going across age to age
Without condition
And scoops me up into the story
Though ignorant and virgin
Yet I realize
I therefore can only learn
It is a good place to be
And all others
At one time in their lives
Have stood exactly here
Transcendent

Pelham Beauty

There is such ravishing beauty
all around me
That it makes it easy to see why you called
the world "good" on its birthday.
Somewhat still, yet full of life
just below the surface
I am grateful to take in this delightful
treasure called Pelham Bay.
Months from now its beauty will be
changed appearing in reincarnated form
And a new beauty will quietly await
her many suitors to gaze with desire.