Gutted

Gutted
Searing emotions that stab and writhe inside me
One misunderstanding that I know about
What are the others you've never shared with me?
I know it's not your job to teach me,
but it would make my blurry vision clear so much quicker
The pain is raw
Your punch is below the belt
It has me not seeing stars but re-living acidic memories
Years of my brother not talking to me
Cold shoulder given
Questions of why
Endless silence and a lack of answers
All because he was trying not to hurt me
To say anything would have made it worse
or so he thought
In the moment, perception was wrong and thus situation made worse
How many years went by before wrongs were righted?
I've lost count
I'm just grateful that things have become as the dazzling, captivating sun
blazing beauty and positive rays
to incinerate past wrongs

... For now, distance and frost
as the wind blows over this relationship
turning Summer's delights to a frozen landscape
No snow, all ice
How I long for Spring to come and melt and water
the damaged land, to repair with droplets
Each drop drenched with healing even if it be just a minute drop
like the tears from my eyes as I mourn this loss
hoping and praying for reconciliation and a better understanding