He drank in the fumes
Savoring them like sips of aged, red wine
Dancing upon his tongue
Caressing his insides with delight
While truthfully burning them
With the tar of nicotine
Smearing it with its caustic black soot
He smirked at me knowing that I can't stand when he smokes
But my pleas to stop have fallen on deaf ears
And so, rather than argue,
I toss up my white flag
And end the verbal war between us
Life is too short
And good friends give each other space and freedoms
He fans the rings of smoke
In an attempt to playfully shoot
One more cannonball my way
This one ephemeral instead of verbal
As he temporarily breaks off our cease fire
We continue our walk
And I can see it in his eyes
The hatred from years of bullying at school
His beautiful charcoal hue
His scarlet "A"
Bound not to his chest but to his pores for life instead
He curses at life
Trying to rationalize the world
And find solace in Deity
Years go by
He gives up
On God
On me
On himself and failed dreams
His comfort now
Ebbs up and down
In Bacardi bottles tipped back and forth
In the cups he drinks
Nevermind life and liver
Why think favorably upon them
When life has only and always dredged up
Whatever settled upon Dante's ultimate sand barge in Hell
It is the bed he longs to rest in
Death, sweet death
I've heard him ask for it before
And for others
Who piss him off
From his gaze, seeing incompetent management and Semite greed
I've always found it curious
How two beings sculpted from the same Creator
Could look at each other
With disgust that tip the scales equally
Personally never been able to condone this hateful judgment
So much time has gone by
That I've lost count of the months
Stopped counting the missed opportunities for interaction
I lament that you chose to walk away
Chose to give away the intimacy
We could have shared
And exchanged it for your solitude
We used to joke that you are
An elderly cat lady contentedly preferring to be alone
Trapped instead in a young man's body
In a city that always comes ringing your doorbell
My mind still flits to moments with you
Like now
Like when I see anything regarding Japan
Or kittens
I wonder how you are
If your dreams were birthed into this reality
And what happened to you
But that's just it
I am left to wonder
By myself
Like now
Forever wondering
About somebody that I used to know
And call a friend
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