Hot, Soulful Tears

Here they come

my hot, soulful tears

pungent with pain and want

for intimacy and companionship

I roll over on your side of the bed

unable to stop my watery eyes

but You’re not there, You’ve never been here

leaving my soul feeling forgotten and empty for the umpteenth time

a number so high that I stopped counting years ago

Tonight, my hands recoil

Your soft beard not present for them to gently caress

Lips absent for me to drink in

An arm-less body making it impossible for me to be merely held

It’s your tender, unconditional, big hearted love that I’m desperate for 

not sex, but intimacy

Ears deaf unable to be gifted with 

the insightful conversations poured forth like the pleasing drinks offerings of old

The tears, they come again

waterfalls upon my freckled face

I hear my shackles of solitary confinement rattling 

the drumroll pitter patters on

like a wave ebbing with the tides back and forth but always, always the same

I ask again where you are

why my ears don’t perk up with comedic banter 

and flit with verbal delight bouncing along multitudinous topics

why my prayers go unanswered 

continually
just as these tears and this sorrow flows